


Eye-Wannabe

by 2towels



Category: Total Drama
Genre: Beth/Justin not being a tag already makes me sad, F/M, I should probably rewatch this terrible show, Lindsay is only mentioned, Mistakes have been made, Oh, can be seen as both a crushing situation and a platonic situation, honestly i might continue this/make a bigger fic, i haven't even seen this show in like five years I was just like, lets rewrite one of my better old fanfics, there's so much potential for it to grow into a mutually understanding relationship, this fandom is so old, venting, why did i do this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-09-22 14:55:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9612686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2towels/pseuds/2towels
Summary: Almost a decade after the first season of Total Drama Island, Beth watches the tenth season celebration episode and feels a seething bitterness she hasn't recognized in a long time. Taking refuge in a local cafe, she realizes she's not alone in her pent up aggression towards her history on the island.Alternatively: Beth's schoolgirl crush feelings are rekindled, and Justin likes Beth's snorts and company more than he probably should.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote this fic on my old fanfic account, LovelyPhoenix, where it still is now (I'm not linking it bye). It was only set six or seven years after the first season the first time around, and I added a bit more to the actual plot, but it's basically the same. 
> 
> I thought about posting this as a joke to myself at first, and then I thought whole-heartedly "why the fuck not" and decided to do it if only for the small writing adaptability practice, the need to give a small revival to both this non-existent fandom and this completely negative infinite ship, and the lawls (remember "lawl xD"? I still cringe).
> 
> "Jeeze, I really can't get enough of these guys, though." -Me, December 31th, 2013; the date of the original publication of the first draft of this fic. I literally wrote the original when I was 14. Pls.
> 
> Anyway, I used to have a really elaborate fic planned out for a sort of journey for Beth, involving Justin and Lindsay mainly as she made her way through the model scene, and even now thinking about the original plans I'm drawn to write it, so who knows, I might throw more Beth/Justin trash into the void. Really, Beth/Self-Confidence and Realization of Worth is my OTP, but Justin vessels as a suitable substitute. ANYWAY ANYWAY, I'm mostly focused on my voltron jams, so maybe not. This is so irrelevant. I'm basically saying "Maybe more, maybe not" SORRY THANK YOU IF YOU ACTUALLY READ THIS MESS

_The wannabe_. The more Beth tossed the word around her head, the more she realized the truth behind the label. Her fists clenched. Her head pulsed.

The sound of the television turning off followed the unconscious action, and she seethed to herself, her straight teeth clenched. It wasn't fair. Fairness was something she grew up knowing as childish and unrealistic, but the bite in the back of her throat still made her long for it. She wanted justice and reprimanding of anyone who saw the television feed and agreed, but she knew nothing of the sort would come.

She had yanked her coat on before she fully knew what she was up to, following instinct alone as she tore out of her apartment. Her feet carried her automatically in the direction of a cafe on the corner of the street, just minutes from her own apartment. She'd moved to the area at the first opportunity she received, working most of her teenage and young adult years away to afford it while she worked on the modeling scene with Lindsey. It was tiresome work and exhausting to think too in-depth about, but she was as close to being satisfied with her life as she had ever remembered being, and that counted for something more than she could truly explain.

By the time Beth reached the warm building, throwing the doors open just minutes after she'd left her own home, her genuine rage had become subdued by the life all around her. The city offered a lot of comforts, just not usually in the form of words or companionship, and she was grateful for such a setting. Her immediate order was for a large hot chocolate and two soft salted macadamia and caramel cookies. Neither were approved in her diet, but she hadn't approved of the emotional turmoil the television would put her through tonight, so it was a fair break from the norm.

Thinking of those days, almost a decade ago, was when she missed home the most. She never wanted to leave the city--was adamant not to, even--but when she thought of the pitiful little island, she thought of how she thought of home, and everything and every challenge would be okay. She could focus on her thoughts in the quiet, and when she was home her dad would bring her animal crackers when he knew she was upset. The donkeys were her favorite because they were the only ones who really looked like their designated animals.

When the barista cleared their throat a little, she blinked, taking in eyefuls of the confused and mildly worried expression they wore. Her face heated involuntarily, and she nodded a thanks as she turned swiftly to find a seat. Drink in hand, she barely made it a step before she smacked straight into a broad chest, padded by a luxury winter coat. Thankfully, her drink hadn't sloshed or spilled over it's lip onto the expensive wool.

"Hey, watch where you're going!" A deep voice immediately griped, shuffling a half-step back.

She squinted, not looking up to meet the man's face and stepping out of the way without a fuss. "Sorry..." She mumbled, certainly sincere, but not entirely satisfied with his attitude.

He went to order as she took a seat at the side of the cafe, and through her peripheral vision she thought she'd caught his head whipping around once or twice towards her little booth, but she was too occupied with thoughts to care, and her mouth was too occupied with scalding hot chocolate to even wonder the possibility of saying something.

"Beth...?" The griping voice now sounded full of familiarity, hovering near her. There was a level of untapped emotion Beth couldn't name as she glanced away from her cookies, blinking blandly up at the man.

"Justin!?" Her surprised cry was almost too loud, standing hurriedly as to decrease the massive height difference between them, furthered only by her sitting.

Before she could stand fully he was waving a hand for her to relax, taking the booth seat across from her without invitation or fanfare. He furrowed his sculpted eyebrows in almost frustration, and though she hadn't seen him in person for countless years, she knew immediately it was not an expression she'd ever been familiar with. "Earlier, sorry about that. Something had me in an off mood." He spun the cup in his hands with boredom, glancing upwards towards the ceiling before landing a much more careful gaze on her. "It's been forever since anyone but a few of us have seen you, though." He didn't need to clarify who 'us' was. It was both intentional and careful. "You look different." There it was.

She eased into her seat again, suddenly feeling a wave of self-consciousness she hadn't been familiar with since being a young teenager, glancing down at her cookies. A sigh came out of her nose and she sipped her hot chocolate, letting the burn promote some sort of inspiration for a proper reply. What she did in front of _Eye-Candy_ didn't matter too much to her anymore anyway. Or, she countered herself immediately, it _shouldn't_.

"I've been busy." She answered finally, not really knowing what to say to him. It wasn't just her who avoided the half-thrown-together reunion parties. Chris McLean, in all types of hosting, was not the best at his trade. Lindsey mingled enough for the both of them, and she still got together with some of the girls a couple times a year, so she wasn't too bent up about not keeping in touch with everyone.

He gave a short nod and drank from his twirling cup, the liquid inside still swirling from his motions. She wondered whether it was coffee or not. He didn't seem like the type of person to drink anything too sweet. Whatever it was, it left a faint wetness on his exfoliated lips, and she felt fifteen again, sweaty palms and all.

 _It's just Justin_ , she told herself. _He's not going to care what you do now because he's only sitting here in the first place because he feels bad about yelling at you._

Wait.

Did he feel bad?

Beth studied his seemingly bored actions--the way he swirled his cup again and glanced all around the cafe--and felt a hint of a smile poke softly at her lips. "Justin." Her inner fifteen-year-old was still buzzing inside of her, wondering if she'd finally caught something akin to human kindness in what used to be the egotistical model she couldn't get over.

He made a recognizing sound of question as he casually stole the whole cookie still left on her napkin, biting into an edge of it.

"What bothered you so much? You said something put you in a bad mood."

With his eyes suddenly fixed on her, something seemed to click into place, his expression visibly carding through a series of changes before he looked down at his drink with a hard stare. He took a long swig from it, not giving so much as a flinch of hesitation at the temperature. As he set it down, he gave a whisper of a huff and spoke, "Beth, did you know they're airing some silly tenth season celebration show? How ridiculous is that?"

Beth's first reaction was to blink, not expecting him to bring that up at all, really. "I...yeah." She said uncertainly, "They talked for almost twenty minutes alone about season one. Is that...were you watching?"

"Yes, I was watching!" He snapped a little, rapping firm knuckles against the table in hard emphasis. She almost couldn't believe his tone. He'd been complimented! And he was so riled up about it!

"Beth," He said then, tone all scathing venom, "A wannabe."

Her face fell entirely, lips parting involuntarily as she watched him carefully, but she didn't reply at the surprising words. He looked at the beginning of a rant she couldn't prevent.

"A _wannabe_!" He reemphasized, "As if it's a bad thing! They made you look like an idiot! For ratings! They made you wanting to fit in a _freak show_ , like they would never want to!" He took a deep breath through his nose and met her gaze, fire blazing in his eyes. "There is nothing wrong with wanting to fit in, Beth."

Beth this. Beth that. She sipped her steaming hot chocolate, needing something for her sweaty hands to occupy themselves with and still unsure of what to say, if anything.

"Did you even watch it?" He was speaking again, eyebrows furrowed once more, "They made a spectacle out of everyone. I-I know that's what the show was _for_ , and I'm a _model_ , but really! We were just teenagers! We didn't know anything but how much we wanted to win! You can't judge us after, what, nine years? Ten years? That's a decade to change, the whole reminiscing panel was just a cringe-worthy attempt to bring up old bad jokes." His perfect nose wrinkled in a genuine disgust.

"Have you?" Beth asked quickly, almost a breath of a question, not wanting him to go on ahead of himself and bring anymore pain or contemplation to his expression.

The question grounded him again, and he blinked, clearly confused. "Have I what?"

A laugh almost bubbled out of her, but she only rapped her knuckles against the table in a soft mock of his earlier attention-grabber. "Changed, Justin! Have you changed? What do you think about what they said about you?" She downed the last of her hot chocolate in two gulps, running her tongue along the roof of her mouth to savor the powder remnants she'd caught.

" _Eye-candy_." He sighed, though his tone was sour, "That's all I've ever been. We all expected that title."

She let her little laughter escape this time without remorse. "We both know that's what's bothering you. I haven't seen you in, what, seven years? And I know that's what's bothering you. Let's not pretend I'm stupid." _Let's not pretend you're actually concerned about my image_. Her manicured nails worked at poking through the last of her own cookie idly.

Another sigh came, through his nose this time, and he finished his own drink. As he propped his head up on his hand and slouched a little, he gave a humorless chuckle. "Why do you figure? I'm a jerk. All I've got going for me is my looks. It's not so much a secret." Despite the sad words, he didn't seem the slightest bit regretful of his position.

She wouldn't grant him to leave himself with that opinion, only shaking her head and waiting for him to try again. When he was silent for more than a few long moments, she snorted and flicked a cookie bit into his face, it finding a bulls-eye in the dimple that had quickly quirked its way onto his face. "Don't be dense." She almost groaned, wondering what precisely had gotten him so momentarily amused, "You're a great guy when you're not trying to constantly get everyone's attention. You said it yourself, you've had a decade to change, you don't have to be and I don't think you are the same guy you were on the island. You know it."

"But doesn't it bother you, at least a little bit?"

"The show?" He nodded, and she snorted again, watching his lip quirk almost in time with it, "Would I be sitting here ten minutes to their closing hour if it didn't? It sucks that they're dragging out the most embarrassing parts of our past, and it's degrading to know that by the time I wake up tomorrow morning I'll have already dreamed of damage control situations for my social media pages, but just because it bothers me doesn't mean I'm really concerned about what they say. There's a difference, you know." She allowed a kind smile to fill her pause, "My mom used to say that. It's better not to concern yourself with things that are barely worth a bother."

Still watching her carefully, he seemed to take her words into consideration a moment longer than necessary before he gave another slight nod into his palm.

"Sorry I yelled at you, Beth." He smiled sincerely, dimples appearing at both ends, and she felt herself warming despite knowing she could definitely stop being so schoolgirlish about his presence.

She laughed again, despite the flush on her cheeks, and he chuckled with her, standing and offering an arm as the barista had started sweeping the area. When they were outside, embracing the biting cold again with puffs of air that never ceased to make Beth think of dragons, Justin walked with her the first two blocks towards her apartment. As they split, he fixed her a gaze filled with so much unexpected kindness she was almost taken aback. "Stop being a stranger." He implored, pulling out his phone.

When she made it home, she'd never felt warmer.


End file.
